Judge orders alleged flasher’s penis measured

A German man accused of exhibitionism has countered that his penis is too small for anyone to notice it.

The alleged flasher, identified only as Herbert O, was accused of revealing his assets to a teenage girl while delivering a package last August.

The teenager and her mother subsequently went to the police and filed a complaint against 54-year-old Herbert from Leer in Lower Saxony.

Herbert responded with a novel defence, claiming that his mini-manhood was not up to the task of flashing the girl.

To drive home the point, he asked his wife to stand up in court and testify to his shortcomings.

“I’m sorry, darling, but your penis is too short to hang out of your trousers,” his dutiful wife went on to declare before the court.

The female judge, Ulrike Andrees, was then asked by defence lawyer Lutz Winkler to measure the organ to verify the claims.

Unwilling to handle the matter herself, Judge Andrees went on to ask the coroners’ office in Oldenburg to measure Mr O’s reproductive organ.

“If the wife has spoken out so frankly about this, I have to follow it up,” the judge said.

Adding his voice to the strange proceedings was the no doubt perplexed court manager Norbert Bruns. “We’ve never seen anything like this before,” he said.

Defence lawyer Winkler has refused to settle for a fine in exchange for settling the case and is determined to see his client cleared.

It may be a while before the defence strategy stands up in court.


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