Should it be a message to children to encourage them to listen to their Mothers and make them proud or should it be an encouragement to the young girls not to become mothers unless they are ready because of its varied responsibilities. Then the thought dropped forcefully in my spirit, Mother’s Day should be more than just a celebration of mothers but a time when we decide to end the abuse against women. In this article I want to re-produce some important points that I used in my Mother’s Day message that I think needs to go to a wider audience.
We need to End the Physical Abuse against Women
How quickly we as a society forget the gruesome deaths of Shermelle Phillip, Chantellica Thompson and Schemere Norford. At the end of each of these deaths we had marches and cande-light vigils and a serious public outcry. Then we as a society went quiet. Recently we had the vicious stabbing attack on one of my former school mates in Trishna Jeffers in her place of employ. It is obvious that some of our men are getting even more bold because we have gotten even more silent. There are many of us in society who see and know when Ms. X or Mrs Y is getting blows from her husband and we simply say nothing in the name of “keeping out of people business”. Then when they die we hear “oh she used to always get licks from him”. If we saw our neighbour’s house on fire, wouldn’t we call the firetruck? When are we as a society going to decide to be our “Sister’s Keeper”. Where is the sustained effort by us as a society to fight against domestic violence? Why aren’t we putting pressure on our representatives to improve our domestic violence act to become au fait with the realities of 2012 and beyond? Where are the Voices of Women Group? I have not even heard a Press Release from them on the stabbing attack on Trishna Jeffers. Why aren’t we bombarded with this message? I think Mother’s Day is the perfect time to remind us of the physical abuse women face too much in our little Nevis.
We need to End the Financial Against Women
Some women have to stay home and keep house and deal with every single need of the family to ensure the man can work but then the men refuse them even a red cent. They have to beg like dogs for even a 5 cents to buy a sanitary napkin or to buy grease or perm for their hair. The men can buy five rounds of drinks for the boys but the woman must be deprived of needs because she is not putting any money on the table. Some women don’t get “jack squat” for Mother’s Day, birthday, Christmas or anniversary because they must understand that the fact that the man provides for their needs is enough. While I am not encouraging anyone to be stupid with their spending, I submit that each man who cares about the mother of their children should budget even a minimum of $100.00 for each special occasion in their life. If you have no money, are unemployed or something comes up and you have to spend it then fine but under normal circumstances, money should be set aside to show appreciation. I remember when a presenter came to speak to us as youths, he said that it is important that women get a Christian man but they should avoid a cheap Christian man at all costs because there is nothing worst than that. Unfortunately there are still too many cheap Christian men in our churches who even on Mother’s Day have made zero preparation for their wives, not even to make a card out of a paper-bag! Mother’s Day is the perfect time to remind our men to end the financial abuse.
We need to end the Verbal/Emotional Abuse against Women
The saying that “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me” is a fallacy. Men have called their wives/women everything from “retarded” to “ugly” to “dunce” to “fat” to “useless”. Some of these women are genuinely trying to satisfy their husbands/boyfriends but nothing is ever good enough for them. When one wife told me with tears coming to her eyes that her husband called her “ugly” I was shocked for the mere fact that a Christian man could call his wife that and shocked because the man himself is not too soft on the retina. The abuse continues when men verbally assault them in public and private and even issue physical and death threats. It is also abuse when married men have sex with prostitutes whether they be Spanish or English and spending good money that could be used for unpaid utility bills and mortgages. This money instead is being issued in cash or open checks for these women to spend wildly in whichever store they choose. The unfortunate thing is that this attitude is creeping into the church where Christian husbands who are not needy but greedy enough to eat all they can at home but still want to eat out. When these women find out, the emotional trauma is analogous to the physical and financial abuse that other women go through. Mother’s Day is a good day to end this trauma because it eats away at the very fabric of what makes a woman a woman. It annuls her vivacity and her vim.
My readers would realize by now that I am very passionate about women and how we as men-folk enjoy treating them like possessions and peasants as opposed to one whose price is far above rubies as Proverbs 31:10 reminds us. Romans 12:1 implores us not to conform to this world. I issue a call to all Christian men to set the trend as to how women should be treated for the others to follow. Let us treat our women differently so that Mother’s Day could be more than just an empty celebration of mothers.